So here we are, 11 months down the line from graduating. Not so shiny and sparkly anymore. A little bit rougher around the edges, a few more worry lines, too tired to shave...living the dream... or not.Like any profession (although one would think in this career they would avoid this mistake!) what they covered in the textbooks, what you crammed into your grey matter is probably not what you end up using everyday. For the unenlightened, the desk job muggles and the newly crowned medics here follows a few secrets that I have picked up along the way...(feel free to contribute!)
Bad doctors do eventually kill patients but bureacracy kills more.
Failing to acknowledge that they with the epilettes on their shoulder control your life will result in much anguish and gnashing of teeth on your part.You will be called at 2am, 230am, 250am, 3am, 320am, 410am, 415am… for the stupidest reasons.
Apparently you need an MBChB to
Put up a drip
Put up a male catheter/ 3 way catheter/ fine bore nasogastric tube (because it has a guidewire in it.) Fingerprint a dead person
Fetch blood from the bloodbank and hang up the first unit…but only the first unit!
You can’t transfuse packed cells through a blue jelco unless you have an IVAC.
You can transfuse FFP’s through a blue jelco without an IVAC.
The secret to a quiet night in the wards is prn lorazepam…for the patients…and the occasional sister.
If a patient can ask for morpine they probably shouldn’t be getting it but if it’s 2am you will be shooting yourself in the foot if you don’t give it.
Not for max is relative to the registrar who made that decision
Surgeons and Physicians have only one thing in common…they despise Obstetricians.
Pharmacists are a law unto themselves.
It's a mystery how people did 24 hour calls before woolworths!
There are 2 kinds of people in this profession...the eternally miserable in spite of there surroundings and the surprisingly happy despite their surroundings.
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